Animals

The day was filled with numerous sightings of the Yellowstone ground ape, at the campsite, along the black metamorphic rock formations, and in their primitive white rock marking sites where they ritually mark their territory, one after the other in long lines. Though the apes are voracious omnivores, they curiously only observe the numerous delicious creatures instead of hunting them with their steel conveyances along the black rock formations. Later, they exchange bits of green paper for extruded meatlike substances formed from the abattoirs of the center of the continent.

We started the day boarding a restored old style Yellowstone yellow bus, driven by our fearless guide Brandon, who looked like the character from 90210. We drove down the road a spell, stopped, and were greeted by the sight of a grizzly in the scope he set up. Of course, knowing very little about cameras, I had no lens with which to capture the foraging for roots and berries. It was like any nature show.

We then went on to view herds of grazing animals, the bison, mountain goats, mule deer, and pronghorn, the last of which I was surprised to learn are vastly overengineered for their current environment. The pronghorn run faster than an extinct North American cheetah. Waste.

We finished the animal tour by stopping at a "bear jam", to see a mother black bear nursing her cub. We were fortunately not attacked and eviscerated for intruding on this intimate act.

We finished the day going to Old Faithful, which you will not be surprised to learn erupts to on a precise schedule to an audience seated in an amphitheater surrounding the accidental rock formation. The steam happened to look like Audrey's favorite stuffed llama.

By this point we were through with the Disney like atmosphere of Yellowstone, and exited the west side of the park to go to Bozeman, Montana. There we ate a a restaurant that would have felt like home in Bethesda, with the standard brew pub fare.